"The Dumbest Fucking Shootout Ever", a bonus story for everyone.

I'm part of this discord where we have daily writing challenges, and I thought, fuck it, I'm gonna do every challenge in one story, and in 500 words exactly. This is the result, and I decided to post it here. It contains a M/F pairing and snuff. Enjoy, I guess? This story is really fucking dumb. You've been warned.

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Daniel was a super cute twink dressed like a prohibition era Chicago mobster, fedora and suit and all.

He investigated the hill in the forest, machine gun in hand, looking for his enemy. He parted a set of bushes, discovering a cave no more than five feet wide. It was a few feet tall at the entrance, but soon it got tall enough to accommodate his height. It went on for fifty feet or so before he saw daylight on the other side. And he knew she was in there.

He emerged from the other side into a wide, beautiful clearing. There was one person standing in the center of the flower-filled clearing. She was a mix of alraune and succubus, with green skin, pink wings, and a pink tail. There was a huge pink flower sticking out of her head. But, she was wearing a suit, tie, fedora, and had the same gun as Daniel.

“You’re five minutes late,” the alraune succubus said. “This is the last time I’ll ever arrange a shootout via text messages…”

“Sorry. Cornelia, can we just start shooting each other already? I need to avenge my great grandfather before the last of his senile WWII buddies pass away.”

“Fine. Western style?”

“Sure.” They stowed their machine guns by their sides, holstering them like revolvers, and stood thirty paces apart. They held still, listening to the wind as it blew.

Cornelia made the first move, going for her firearm. Daniel reacted, and he was far faster, lifting his gun and firing five shots before Cornelia could fire her first.

They darted around, spraying each other with dozens of bullets. But none of them hit, and their weapons were empty. They crouched and reloaded. Daniel charged at her, spraying another full volley from fifteen paces. They missed, and Cornelia darted at him, missing her reloaded shots from seven paces.

“Are you kidding me?” Daniel said. They stood in front of each other and reloaded. They walked three paces away from each other, and pointed their guns at each other. They fired twenty-five shots each from two feet away, and all missed. They searched their pockets but were out of ammo.

“God fucking dammit. Jesus fucking christ shit fuck god fucking fuck fuck how do we miss all our seventy-five shots when twenty fucking fuck fuck five were fuck and we were standing still fuck god dammit i just want to die,” Daniel said.

“Wait, our marksmanship makes you want to die?”

“Just fucking eat my soul already I don’t fucking care anymore jesus fuck fuck.”

Cornelia crouched down in front of Daniel and unzipped his pants. She placed her lips around his cock, sparking it with magic, and almost instantly drew him to orgasm. He came in six seconds, and as he came and spurted into her mouth, she sucked out his life force with his cum, devouring his soul as his body disintegrated into fine gray dust.

“What the fuck just happened?” Cornelia asked herself.