In Deadpool With a System [16]

“What’s wrong? Cat got your tongue? You scared?”

He looked Dane up and down with disgust. “Tch. Look at you—pretty boy with soft skin. You look like some delicate little princess.”

The more he spoke, the more arrogant he became.

“I can’t believe they sent someone as weak-looking as you in here. What a joke!”

Dane remained silent as he slowly walked toward the man’s bedside.

The guy scoffed. “Oh? Getting mad? Gonna hit me?” He grinned, taunting Dane even more. “I bet your punches feel as soft as a girl’s—weak and pathetic!”

He laughed loudly, ready to spit out another insult—

But before he could finish, Dane casually walked up and sat directly on the man’s face.

A loud thud echoed in the room.

For a moment, there was complete silence.

Dane adjusted his position, making himself comfortable. “I was just thinking I needed a chair. Looks like I found the perfect spot.”

“Mmmph…!”

“Get your filthy ass off my face!”

The man beneath Dane thrashed and muffled curses, but Dane acted as if he didn’t exist. He remained seated, casually shifting his weight until the struggling stopped completely.

Once silence filled the room, Dane crossed his legs, now comfortably perched on his makeshift seat.

His gaze slowly swept across the room.

The other test subjects—four men and one woman—were frozen in horror, their wide eyes filled with shock and fear.

One of the men was even trembling, his lips quivering as if he wanted to say something but didn’t dare to.

After all, who in their right mind would sit on someone’s face like it was the most natural thing in the world?

This guy… was definitely not normal.

But before the fear could fester too deeply, Dane flashed a reassuring smile and spoke in a lighthearted tone.

“Relax, everyone.” He casually gestured with one hand. “I’m not some deranged doctor who enjoys cutting people open. Nor am I some lunatic who names deadly poisons ridiculous things like ‘Ant Jaw Black’ just for fun.”

He let out a sigh. “Honestly, I have no idea what goes on inside Walter’s head. That guy’s on a whole different level of crazy.”

[Your words have lowered the group’s guard.]

[Odor Resistance +10 (Current Odor Resistance: 35)]

One of the men furrowed his brows. “Wait… You’re saying you’re a test subject too?”

The others exchanged uncertain glances, suddenly reevaluating Dane. Their eyes scanned his body, searching for scars, wounds—anything that would mark him as one of them.

Dane nodded. “That’s right. Just a few hours ago, I was in the same position as you—tied to a bed, unable to move, not even able to take care of… well, certain basic needs.”

He let out a dramatic sigh before continuing.

“The only difference now is that I can move, and you can’t. I get to sit on someone’s face, while you guys… well, you only get to be the face that gets sat on.”

[Your words have just made the man under you realize something crucial.]

[Odor Resistance +20 (Current Odor Resistance: 55)]

The room fell into a tense silence.

Finally, one of the captives broke it with a serious question. “If you’re really a test subject, then why are you here?”

Another added, “This place is heavily guarded. There’s no way they’d let an ordinary test subject just wander around. Unless…” His expression darkened. “Unless you’ve been officially authorized as one of them.”

The fear started creeping back into their voices. “Ajax told us tonight is our last chance. If we don’t mutate, we die.”

Someone gulped. “You… You’re not here to kill us, are you?”

Their voices were filled with raw suspicion and fear.

It was clear they believed Dane was one of them—but whether he was friend or foe was still up for debate.

Dane waved a hand dismissively. “Kill you? Relax. I’m not here to kill anyone.”

He smirked. “I’m just here to fart. Once I’m done, I’ll leave.”

”…What?”

Everyone stared at him in pure disbelief.

Dane tilted his head, as if wondering why they looked so confused. “You heard me. I just need to let one rip.”

Then, without warning—

PFFT.

A soft yet deadly sound echoed through the silent room.

The man under Dane violently convulsed, his body spasming like he had been struck by lightning.

A few seconds later, he stopped moving altogether.

At the same time, the others suddenly caught a whiff of something truly vile.

“Oh my god!”

“What the hell is that smell!?”

One of the men gagged, his face contorting in absolute disgust. “This is… This is the worst thing I’ve ever smelled in my life!”

Dane grinned. “Oh? That’s nothing. The real stench is still coming.”

[The captives have realized you are definitely NOT a good person.]

[Odor Resistance +15 (Current Odor Resistance: 65)]

The woman, who had remained silent until now, clenched her teeth and asked, “What are you really here for?”

Dane gave an innocent shrug. “I already told you. Just here to fart.”

With that, he finally stood up, lifting his weight off the unconscious man beneath him.

Right at that moment, the heavy steel door creaked open just slightly, and a familiar voice cut through the air.

“Hey, how long are you planning to take?”

Ajax poked his head inside, looking mildly annoyed. “I’d rather not stand here waiting all night.”

The test subjects immediately turned their attention to him.

“That guy…!”

“Wait, does this mean he’s really our last chance!?”

For the first time, their expressions shifted from fear to desperate hope.

Dane, meanwhile, stretched his arms lazily. “Yeah, yeah, I’m almost done.”

Then, he smirked at Ajax. “If you want, you can come in and breathe in some fresh air. I mean, you’ve got a gas mask anyway.”

[Your words have increased Ajax’s desire to shut the door immediately.]

[He has decided not to acknowledge you any further.]

[Odor Resistance +5 (Current Odor Resistance: 70)]

“You’ve got five more minutes.”

BANG!